where have you been?

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I think I finally met the future Mr. Me... ahh too bad it wont go that far. But he is precious so I suppose I will enjoy him while I can :)

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....not because....
I feel reckless - Any takers?

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I feel cheated by life & love!

Every time I meet someone wonderful or get to experience something wonderful, it gets taken away from me.
One week is the best week of my life ... and the next week is the worst week of my life.

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I think it's finally over, and I've never been this broken in my life before.

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It's okay to not understand... isn't it?

I hate thinking that I don't know everything.
It's not because I think I am brilliant.
I'm not... I don't know everything.. I only pretend to.

I create these little scenerios in my mind and I accept them as truth, because the alternative.....

It's better to just think someone hates you than think something horrible has happened to them.. or that you have offended them or hurt them in some way.

There is someone I hurt once. I've accepted it.. I've hated myself over it. I've waited.. so long.. for forgiveness. I don't know if I was ever really forgiven.

What I did to this person... was be me. Apparently.. it just became too much for them. I am a complicated person to know. I've met very few people who can speak my language and when I find them I guess I just hold on too tight. It's my fault.. I need to act like a brain dead .. spoon fed.. whore. That is the kind of girl that people seem to like.

I was mad at this person for a long time... Maybe I still am a bit. I was mad at them for making me mad at myself. I was mad at them for saying they care and then ignoring me.

I just need to believe that something is true...
If I live my life wondering..then I will NEVER EVER
trust anything EVER !

So what I trust is that I am this horrible aweful person
that people just can't stand knowing....
And that is why they always stop knowing me.

I'm just... done begging for hope.

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in school. I have a teacher and I don't think he likes me.

I want to find others that feel SORROWFUL

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I should probably have spelled it emBARE-ASSED instead ;)

I decided to walk both my dogs together to save time the other night. It was late and hot outside and I was wearing a pair of shorts that I haven’t worn in awhile. Anyway, while I was walking them, one dog wrapped herself around a tree while the other one tried to pull me in the opposite direction. So I was trying to pull the one dog back to me and get the other one away from the tree at the same time. Needless to say my hands were full. After I finally got the dogs in order I looked down and realized that these shorts I haven’t worn in a long time have fallen down and now are around my ankles. So I’m standing there showing my ass to the neighborhood. I was so humiliated, but my neighbors have all been really nice to me today! haha

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I miss my friends. I miss my band. I miss my soul mate. I miss my granddad.

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I have an ear infection. :(

I went to my doctor today and we got in a big argument as usual, he wants me to stop seeing my super sexy studmuffin doctor and only go to him and I told him NO WAY!

My job is driving me crazy... crazy like AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna beat a random person at any moment crazy.

MY stupid boyfriend is int he happiest place on earth and he keeps calling me to tell me what a bad time he is having, I want to kick him in the face for being so insensitive to me! At least he is on vacation!

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