I feel intense
0 connection(s) 18 May , 2008 at 02:39 PM GMT posted by etherdrive
I feel sleepy
2 connection(s) 17 May , 2008 at 12:33 PM GMT posted by erzulie
It's easy to hide things when you are awake. Things like the emotions that you refuse acknowledge.
Your longing for someone who doesn’t long for you.
Your hatred of them for not loving you.
Your fear that the most important things in your life will disappear.
Once upon a time I had terrible nightmares every single night when I closed my eyes. I learned to deal with them and eventually they went away.
Now, I find myself having the most beautiful dreams and I have to wake myself up before I get too comfortable in them. I open my eyes and tell myself, “That was not real, stop dreaming about that.” And my heart breaks all over again.
All I can do is force myself to stay awake.
It’s sad… I do love sleeping.
I feel disappointed
1 connection(s) 16 May , 2008 at 08:07 PM GMT posted by etherdrive
I drove across town to TUT today, to get a copy of my graduation certificate. I've jumped through all the necessary hoops, paid the required fees, waited patiently for about a month, confirmed that my certificate was available, and then booked a day off from work.
When I finally arrived after having parked my car in a dusty parking lot, I walked across campus and found the graduation enquires counter. There was no one there. After about 30 minutes the lady behind the counter appeared. I patiently waited my turn, and finally greeted her. She was kind, educated and genuinely concerned about me. After rummaging through the files, and going into the "room in the back", she appeared holding a folder marked "A-L". Under "C", she pulled my certificate out, with a kind smile. She pointed out some key elements: date of birth (check), name (check), award... diploma... No said I... forcing a smile, and taking a deep breath. "I worked hard for my degree ma'am". And so I spilled my guts to complete stranger... "I took out another student loan, travelled across the city daily, dodged campus violence, stood in 200+ long queues, finished top of my class and dealt with the embarrassment of missing my own graduation ceremony as my father purposely withheld said information from me."
She promised to correct the mistake, and courier my degree certificate to me at my work address. Forgive me for not being hopeful, but having dealt with TUT for so many years, my expectations are low, but hey, in the dark all we have is hope, right? ;)
I feel longing
1 connection(s) 16 May , 2008 at 08:46 AM GMT posted by etherdrive
the music in my dreams have evolved. Ever since high school when I first started hearing music in my dreams, I've occasionally been blessed with new songs. I wake up crying, with so much longing that I can't bring them back into the real world with me. As with most dreams, remembering details are hard and I can't remember even the first note of the song. What I'm left with is merely the memory of the atmosphere and emotion of when I heard it.
I'm scared, no; completely terrified that I'll never hear those songs again.
I feel amazing
0 connection(s) 19 May , 2008 at 12:24 PM GMT posted by etherdrive
I love music so much and I know you do too. It's amazing how suddenly, a song fills in the spaces. I'm left suspended in mid air. In the middle of nowhere, I'm crushingly happy... all of a sudden.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEQV_YmhZcE
Thanks, Emily :)
I feel ticklish
1 connection(s) 19 May , 2008 at 12:25 PM GMT posted by etherdrive
I just downloaded the latest album (The Slip) from the NIN web site via http://dl.nin.com/theslip/signup and yes... <3 it!
Trent writes: "as a thank you to our fans for your continued support, we are giving away the new nine inch nails album one hundred percent free, exclusively via nin.com."
Thanks to Werner for bringing it to my attention!
Also if you're into Pokemon, check this girl out... (haha). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1eQyMteoJw
She's lovely!
